It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.
~Pride & Prejudice
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“Hello Lifealert”
“Hello Stella, are you okay?”
“… is your refrigerator running?”
“Stella, we’re all getting a little tired of your bullshit”